


Forgiveness, Can You Imagine

by PurpleSnowDrop



Series: Snippets of a Larger Story [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 11:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20674463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleSnowDrop/pseuds/PurpleSnowDrop
Summary: At Lisanna's funeral, Laxus and Viera call a ceasefire to deal with the trauma.





	Forgiveness, Can You Imagine

"Leaving already huh?" An irate voice snarled from behind Viera. Although she couldn’t see him, his presence seemed to fill the room. She could feel her heart beating out of her chest, whether it was from fear or something else she couldn’t tell, but she was simply too exhausted to deal with it. Gripping the suitcase in front of her she took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

"Not now Laxus." Viera practically whispered. She hated the slight quiver that accompanied her words. It wasn’t fair, everything was wrong, she shouldn’t even be here, nobody should, but life doesn’t seem to care.

"Must be a new record, 3 days in town before moving on. Next thing you know, you won't even stop by and say hello, just move along like we don't even matter.” She knew he was trying to pick a fight; they both knew it was the only way she would bother talking to him these days. But this wasn’t the time, or the place to get into one of their screaming matches. She…

"I don't want to do this right now.” She could feel the tears started to well in her eyes. Why was he doing this now, of all days? 

"What? Don't want to hear the truth?" She could feel his breath on the back of her neck now. He had moved from the doorframe closer with every accusation. Her arms started to shake, and the ever-present fear started to take over. She hated this reaction, she hated how she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him anymore, how every conversation they have is just one fight after the other. She was sick of it.

"No, I don't want to fight, I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of losing everyone I lo- I care about. I'm just done,” She felt her shoulders deflate as she spoke. “And I'm not in the mood for whatever the hell this is." 

"This is?" At his words she turned around and faced him.

"This resentment towards me, I know I fucked up, but I apologized. So, what's your excuse? I didn't say goodbye in person, so that gives you the right to treat me the way you have. To hurt me to make you feel better about yourself. What is it? What did I ever do to you that was so bad, that you had to pin me to a wall and leave me covered in bruises? Huh? What was it?"  
At this point she didn’t even bother trying to hide her tears or hold anything back. This was coming out in the open and can deal with the consequences. Even if she couldn’t see his face, she could tell that her words had stilled the air in his lungs, just like it always did whenever she cried.

At his silence, she just took a deep breath and turned back around to close her suitcase. "I said I wouldn't get into this. Today isn't about us, it's about Lisanna. You know she-“ She could barely hold back the pained gasp then. “She wouldn't want this."

"If Lisanna were here, she'd tell us to forgive and forget" He said this flippantly, but she knew he was holding back his own pain. He always did this, he would make sarcastic remarks to hide his pin, or he’d flip and hurt someone else so they wouldn’t notice how broken he was inside. She had no doubt that Lisanna, the literal ray of sunshine, had probably said that exact thing many times to both of them. But that just made her loss all the more painful, even more so when Viera knew she couldn’t honor her request to forgive Laxus.

"I'm not ready for that yet, I want to, but a part of me is still terrified." She took a deep breath and attempted hold back her tears. "I don't how to go about anything anymore. When I heard about,” She inhaled sharply. “when I heard about Lisanna, the first person my mind went to was you."

"Why?" 

" I don't know Laxus, you think I wanted that? I don't have all the fucking answers."

"That's not what I meant." they both were nose to nose at this point and flushed in anger. She was just so mad at him she could feel her flames rising to the surface. All it would take was a single breath and she could-

A bloodcurdling wail from down the hall echoed and all of the fight in her died instantly. They both seemed to remember what they were actually there for.

"What are we doing Laxus? We shouldn't be doing this, not today."

"You’re right." His defeated tone and the sincerity of his words gave her a little blossom of hope. Maybe they could fix this, maybe it wasn’t entirely broken yet. As the hope bloomed, another feeling slowly creeped back in. Viera wanted her Laxus back, even if only for a minute.

"Can we call a truce?"

"A truce?"

"Yes. losing her made me realize that I need you, my best friend, the man from before everything else. Just for today, that's who I need. I'm willing to put everything aside, just for a day, so I can try and get through this." She let out a gasp and felt the tears rolling down her face. "I guess what I'm trying to ask, is if your willing to forgive, just for today, just so we can get through this, for her sake."

"Just like that, just put it aside, and go back to the way we were?"

"Just like that."

She felt the air move past as he stalked before her. She could feel his breath as he leaned over her, his heartbeat seemed to echo in the silence. Her fear at his presence seemed to jump erratically across her skin, but she forced it down. She wanted to move forward, and the journey back with the first step.

"Alright."

Viera let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding in. She glanced up towards his face as he grabbed her in a hug. She froze for a few seconds before her arms came up and wrapped around him. If anything, she could feel him pull her closer. 

She couldn't tell how long they stood there holding on to each other, her tears soaking his shirt, while her hair was slightly damp. Neither was willing to let go, the familiarity of it all keeping them in place. The last time they had been this close was back before she left, before Ivan was kicked out really.

The rest of the day, they were not far from one another, always within arms distance. The rest of the guild noticed but didn't say a thing. How they managed to get through the funeral, they wouldn't be able to tell you.

She could tell that Macao didn’t like it, but he couldn’t say anything during the funeral, and by the time he could get either of them alone he just took in Viera’s face. She was at peace for the first time in well over a year, Laxus wasn’t as angry for once. They were comforting each other in their time of need, and who was he to ruin it.

Just as the wake was dying down, Viera felt Laxus take her hand and pull her away from everyone. She could feel him leading her somewhere and fought her initial panic at being alone with him. The gentle breeze from the wind led her to believe they were outside. She felt him pull her down to the ground and realized what he was doing.

"I honestly don't know why you do this with me. I can't see the stars, so what's the point?"

"It's quiet and peaceful, plus it gets us away from the crowds for a while."  
They sat outside, side by side for close to an hour before they laid down on the grass. She heard Laxus moving to face her.

"Bean, I know we aren't supposed to mention it, but-"

"Don't." she said covering his month with her hand. "Let's just enjoy the night, and not fight." She felt rather than saw as the anger returned to his body. She could feel the tension of his jaw from where she was covering his mouth still. He gently removed her hand before she started speaking, but she could hear the anger loud and clear with every word.

"Then we go back to being angry at each other? Back to avoiding the issue?" She could feel his eyes looking at her face. 

"It's not-"

"That simple? I have apologized numerous times, I regret what I happened, you know that, so why are you punishing us like this?"

"I'm not punishing-"

"Aren't you though? You keep pushing me away, how many times do I have to apologize until I can make this right, until you believe me? Tell me what to do and I will do it, just give me a chance."

" I can't."

"Why?"

"I just can't"

"That's not a fucking answer Viera!" His frustration sparked the anger inside of her, causing her to snap right back at him.

"What do you want me to say Laxus?!? I still flinch every time someone comes up behind me, I have panic attacks when a man even looks my way. And don't even get me started on the nightmares. Laxus, you can't just say 'I'm sorry' and expect that everything will be fine and dandy. Life doesn't work that way."

"Well what do you want me to do? I want to fix this, and you won't even let me try."

"That's not-"

"It is true. I regret what I did, and I have no excuses for you. I'm an asshole, and what I did to you, was despicable. And I get that you need time to heal, I do, believe me I do. But I can't just sit here and watch you slip through my fingers. I've given you the space, I've tried to not pressure you, but we both know that hasn't worked.”

She felt him sigh and take one of her hands in his. She could imagine him facing her, his breath skimming her face. "It's been a year Bean, a year since I hurt you, a year without my best friend, and it's killing me. I've had to stand by and watch you progressively get worse. I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms and make it all better, but I can't.

“I'm an angry person, and I'm not excusing myself here, and I took that anger and frustration out on you, time and time again. Yet you stood by me, you never gave up on me, even when you really should have. You’re the one person who never deserved to have my anger directed towards you. Hell, you were only one who has always been there for me. Which makes what I've done, so unforgivable."

"Laxus-"

"No, I took things to far, I pushed you to forgive when I don't deserve it. Hell, I can't even manage to apologize to you without lashing out. I took you for granted, and I do regret what I've done." Taking a deep breath, he slowly raised his hand to her cheek, giving her time to pull away. "That being said, I'm not leaving you to face this by yourself. I've left you to deal with this mess by yourself, and I know for a fact that your alone in this. We both need help, Bean, if you don't want me, then talk to someone else, because you’re not ok."

"I don't know how to respond to that."

"I'm not asking for a response right away; all I'm asking is that you think about it."

"Why now?"

"As you've said earlier, we already lost Lisanna, I don't want to lose you too, not when your right here." She felt him kiss her forehead before pressing his forehead to hers, with his lips hovering over hers. When he didn't move any closer, she moved slightly so their lips brushed each other's. She knew this was a bad idea, and that her grief was causing her to do something she normally wouldn’t, but she needed this right now. 

The hand that was cupping her cheek moved towards the back of her neck, and she felt Laxus deepen the kiss. Their lips moving together in tandem. It was not as heated as their previous kiss, however it was slow and soft, comforting, it felt right.

Viera raised her hand to his cheek and opened her mouth slightly. Instead of taking advantage, Laxus broke the kiss and brushed their noses together.   
Taking a deep breath, he moved so she was curled into his chest. "This is how your first kiss should’ve been like." He murmured into her hair. For a second, his words didn't register, her heart was beating too loud. 

Moving her head back up to his face, she accidentally bumped his chin causing him to let out a curse. His words started to sink in as she apologized.

"Sorry."

"It's fine Bean" he saw the expression on her face and frowned. "What is it?"

"What did you mean, this is how it should have been?"

"Your first kiss should have been like that, not like before, not out of anger."

"How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That you stole my first kiss."

"What?" His over the top attempt at confusion gave him away.

"How did you know that?"

"It doesn't matter" He said pulling away to lie back down beside her.

"Yes, it does." Viera declared grabbing his arm, not letting him push this issue aside. Her heart was pounding this time, in anger or embarrassment she couldn’t exactly tell, but she needed him to answer. 

"I guessed"

"You guessed?" You don’t need to be blind to know the bullshit in that answer.

"Well, I assumed-"

"Cana told you, didn't she?"

"Viera-"

"God I can't believe this." She placed her hands over her eyes to hide her embarrassment from him.

"Hey, calm down-"

"Don't tell me to calm down" She snapped, her arms snapping to her side as she started to glare in his general direction.

"Look, its not a big deal" He tried to placate her, placing his hands on her shoulders to calm her down, which only did the opposite.

"But it is, I don't know what I was thinking." Pulling away she sat up and started to stand. "Why would you of all people want to kiss me." With that she managed to stand and run towards the guild hall. Laxus' mind scrambled to try and understand how it went down hill so fast, before he jumped up and started to run after her. 

He managed to catch up to her just as she was outside the hall. He called her name and watched her tense up but kept walking. By the time he caught up with her she was shaking. He whispered her name and pulled her into a hug. She tried to fight him, but he just held her tighter and kept rocking her back and forth. He felt her stop fighting and felt his shirt getting wet as she sobbed into his chest. 

The ache in his chest seemed to grow into a full-on stabbing pain. He did this, he broke the strongest woman he knew and no matter what he said, he wouldn’t be able to fix it. He couldn't tell how much time had passed, but he saw the exhaustion clear on her face. She was falling asleep in his arms, so he gently picked her up and headed toward her room. 

He and Macao met eyes as he carried her in, and he knew that if her brother wasn’t drunk at that moment, he’d probably have taken Viera from Laxus. Just the thought of anyone taking her away from him at this point had him tightening his arms around her. He probably should have walked around the outside of the building, but she was staying in the infirmary for the night.

Glancing around the hall, he saw groups drinking or crying together. He couldn’t bare to look at Mirajane or Elfman at the moment, the pain was just too real. The jobs are dangerous, but this is one of the first times that someone so young, who practically grew up in the guild had died. Elfman was blaming himself, like he should, maybe if he had better control-

No. This wasn’t the time or place to be thinking what everyone thought. Viera slightly stirred in his arms, reminding him of where he needed to go. Just the thought of it being her dead, instead of Lisanna, made his blood boil. How could Gramps allow anyone that weak on missions of that caliber. If he was the guild master, this would have never happened. Lisanna would still be alive if-

The little whimper Viera made drew his attention once more, he had to get her to the infirmary, she needed to get some sleep before she left tomorrow. He almost wished she could stay longer; this was the first day of actual progress he’d made in over a year. He couldn’t help but feel like this would all be for nothing, like some bad dream. With Lisanna’s death, it certainly felt like a nightmare.

Walking into the infirmary he noted a few of the younger members asleep on the nearby beds. Nobody wanted to be alone it seemed, they had pulled a few of the matrasses off the cots to create one massive bed where they were all holding each other with tear trails on their faces. It made sense, they were still too young to drink away their problems, might as well comfort themselves another way. 

Laxus was almost tempted to take Viera back to his apartment, it was closer to the station after all, but it seemed wrong to leave the guild hall at the moment. He gently set her on the bed and made certain she was tucked in before turning to leave. As he was walking away, he felt a slight pressure on his jacket causing him to glance down. Viera, although mostly asleep must have woken up when he set her down. He could feel her reaching for his hand, tugging him closer.

"Stay" she whispered. Taking a deep breath, he nodded and sat on the bed to take off his shoes. He walked over to the curtain and separated them from the rest of the kids before grabbing a pillow and one of the blankets on the bed. He quietly settled down on the floor and linked their pinkies, so she would know he hadn’t left her. They both fell asleep holding hands, finding comfort in the familiarity of each other. It may not be the easy forgiveness many would hope for, but it was a start. The next morning, he awoke to her kissing his forehead and saying goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place around 9 months after the hospital scene. It's not total forgiveness, but it is a start.


End file.
